This Was Our Halloween

So, true to my own form, I am not consistent with these blog posts. NOR am I timely.

I meant to do a post about Halloween more promptly than this but my brain isn't great with the thoughts and sentence making at present.

SO

I always knew Halloween was going to be tricky in Moscow. It was one of the first questions I asked Ian when it was finally decided we were definitely living here for a year, "Do they do Halloween?"

That was back in January.

I have weird priorities.

Anyway, Halloween isn't a thing here. It's odd to me because there is so much good candy in Russia. A lot of their chocolate candies are already "fun sized" and individually wrapped! It would be so easy! It's the most funnest holiday ever! GET WITH IT, RUSSIA!

(I think the youths are getting more hip to it though. As we exited a train station the weekend before Halloween there was definitely a costume party happening at a nearby club and I definitely wanted to go.)


There was no way we could "skip" Halloween. We've watched far too much "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" in the off-season for it to have slipped Simon's mind. We were going to have to figure something out, a costume would have to be made.

I do love making Halloween costumes. I made a Gladiator costume for Simon's first Halloween. We decided on that mostly for the idea that I could craft some manes out of yarn for the cats. I didn't. Buster and Genghis wouldn't have been down for it anyway.

He spit up on this five minutes later WITH HONOR.

The next Halloween we went for a Futurama theme and we dressed him up as Nibbler:

By Halloween 2016 Simon's favorite movie was "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs," and so I did the only thing I could do:

Flint Lockwood!

Last year he was way into dinosaurs and went as a Stegosaurus:

This year Simon decided he wanted to be a Yeti (I know, I was shocked he didn't want to be a robot too!) It seemed like a tall order initially, as I obviously didn't bring my sewing machine with me, but after giving it some thought I was just happy he wasn't insisting on some trademarked character costume. Something like that is easy to find in the States at Target, but near impossible here.

A trip to the craft store was made, fluffy white yarn was purchased, and I got to work. It took over a week and I was working right up until the 30th (of course, because procrastination is my jam). Eventually it was finished. Simon was pumped, mostly because that very night Ian picked up a Halloween Care Package at the post office sent by the Mimis. Spooky toys, a treat bag, and fun sized candy including REESES' PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!

On Halloween, after dinner, Simon dressed up in his costume and terrorized us for a little while. Then we played a "Hide-And-Go-Trick-or-Treat" game in the apartment. Ian and I took turns hiding in our bedrooms and bathroom so Simon could knock and say, "Trick or Treat!", and then he'd find us hiding in a closet and we'd give him his own candy back. He was pretty happy about it. I was relieved. Ian was already sneaking peanut butter cups.

I'm pretty proud of the way the costume turned out, and very happy I didn't have to worry about him wearing it outside because he could NOT walk in those feet. Major design flaw. F+

For anyone wondering, here are the costume instructions:

• Obsessively research free knit/crochet ski mask (aka "balaclava") patterns on Ravelry and Pinterest until you finally decide what the eff you're going to do
  
• Drag your husband with you to the craft store because you're scared to go more than one block in Moscow without him because you don't speak Russian
  
• Buy super bulky fluffy yarn that will crochet up quick, thin wispy yarn (mohair??) to give more of a "hairy" look, and extra sock yarn to make socks for Husband because socks are your new favorite thing to do instead of blogging
  
• Purchase white long underwear for your child to wear under the costume
  
• Ignore the looks from other store patrons because you very obviously just picked out clothes from the Girl's section for your son
  
•  Torture the child the costume is intended for by asking him to stand still for two whole minutes while you measure his head and limbs
  
•  Crochet two arm warmers. They're just tubes. It's not hard.
  
•  Crochet two leg warmer/bell bottom/slippers, aka slightly more difficult tubes
  
•  Wonder how the hell to make a Yeti mask
  
• Delay project for a couple of days by not doing it
  
• Raid your child's recyclables stash (used for building robots and vacuums) for Styrofoam from a pack of vegetables to cut into 8 terrible claws
  
• Sew claws on the ends of the arm and leg pieces because hot glue and Styrofoam aren't the best of friends and you should have known better
  
• Start crocheting the ski mask by following the pattern you're planning to completely alter as per your child's whims about how much of his face he wants covered
  
• Abandon mask once child realizes how hot it gets wearing a ski mask inside and says he doesn't want one
  
• Feel a rush of relief that you don't have to worry about that mask anymore
  
• Feel an even greater rush of relief the next day when your child tells you that, yes, he does actually want a mask and you haven't ripped it all out yet
  
•  Once the mask is completed and far wonkier than you ever meant it to be, use the weird wispy yarn to create a weird bib thing on the bottom of the front of the mask to create the illusion of, like, some sort of powerful chest or something on your tiny child's body
  
• Deal with the tragedy that is the face of the mask by using wispy yarn to create eyebrows no one can notice from afar
  
•  Use Husband's sock yarn to wing some embroidery techniques you learned on Pinterest to create a nose on the mask
  
• Use hot glue to attach pieces of felt around the mouth for the big sharp teeth your child has been asking about since you started this project
  
• Berate yourself for not just cutting out a nose shape and gluing it on because, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY
  
• Torture child once more by asking him to stand still for thirty seconds so you can trace his feet to make felt soles for the bottom of his leg thingies so he hopefully won't slip on the damn things
  
• Use hot glue to create treads on one side of each piece of foot felt and sew them onto the bottom of the leg pieces in the middle of the night while you re-watch The Haunting of Hill House
  
• You saved Halloween! Yay!